The Fault in Our Stars - John Green

This book is about cancer. If that is a touchy subject for you, don't read The Fault in Our Stars.

And if you were one of those people who thought it was beautiful and heartbreaking and inspiring, you might think I'm being nitpicky. Or really mean. Don't read my review if you loved TFIOS.


Some parts, were just "meh" and only mildly annoying for me. Like, a lot of the characters. None of them were very developed. The only character I really liked was Isaac. The rest just felt so unreal. 
Besides, no teenager I know, myself included, talk like Hazel and Augustus did. They say these things that are supposed to be deep and intelligent, but ended up sounding pretentious.

Need examples? Here are a few:

"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations"

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"

"How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich". (this is not only pretentious, but inaccurate. I've had egg salad sandwiches for lunch, omelettes for an afternoon snack, and one time I had scrambled eggs for dinner. Eggs are not "breakfast exclusive". I don't think any food is exclusive at one meal).

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitiable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you" (Do you not believe me when I say Augustus actually said that? It's on page 153)

So you see? I doubt any teenager anywhere actually talks like that. I have a hard time believing illness of any kind makes you wise beyond your years.

A few other things just made me outright angry.
Like the cigarette and metaphor thing. Here is the actual quote.

"They don't kill you unless you light them", he said as Mom arrived at the curb. "And I've never lit one. It's a metaphor, see. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing" 

I highly doubt that a real person with cancer would just accept it the way Hazel did. What Augustus said was pretentious, but it's also downright insulting. He doesn't address Hazel's point that even if he doesn't light them, he is still giving money to a company that causes cancer, among other things. And even if he doesn't actually light them, it's insensitive to put a cigarette in your mouth in front of someone with cancer. 

There's another scene where Hazel, Augustus and Isaac go and egg some girl's car, and the girl's mother comes out of the house. What Augustus said to her made me rageful:

"Ma'am, your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police"

I just...what? You're vandalizing some girl's car just because she broke up with your friend (yeah that was kind of rude of her to dump Isaac right before his surgery, but still. Crime is crime) and you are going to call the police on her mother because she came out of her OWN HOUSE? OH MY GOD!! HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?! AHHHH!!!

If you can't tell, I really didn't like this book. I don't recommend. But it wasn't completely terrible (the writing wasn't too shabby and there were a couple beautiful sentences. Also a couple funny lines), and I know loads of people loved it. I was not one of those people. Sorry :( 

So, Shailene Woodley is Hazel in the movie. I guess she's perfect for that role, they're both annoying


Yeah, I don't like Shailene Woodley either.